常年体检，医生发现我的心脏异常肿大，医学称之为“cardiomegaly”（心脏扩大症），需要进行进一步检查。

上网搜寻，此病症严重的话，或许可能随时心脏衰竭。

上星期五收到体检报告，至今还未去见专科医生，Y 纳闷我为何还能如此镇定。

其实就如去年体检发现自己体内有个 bone island，我没有多大担心。

状况可大也可小，但我不觉的提心吊胆有何帮助。

反正如果要来的总会来。

反而是 Y ，不厌其烦叮嘱我早日去做详细检查。

我觉一股暖意，油然而生，有此关怀，夫复何求。

如果真的就这样走了，我没多大遗憾，我对 Y 说，因为我觉得我此生已用我的方式活过。

更何况这次也许会和去年一样，不过是小病痛罢了。

我倒是有荒诞想法，如果不幸必须说“拜拜”，我之前就要为我的葬礼挑好几首歌：

《如果还有明天》……信
（见维基资料）



我们都有看不开的时候
总有冷落自己的举动
但是我一定会提醒自己
如果还有明天
我们都有伤心的时候
从不在乎这种感受
但是我要把握每次感动
如果还有明天
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见
如果你看出我的迟疑
是不是你也想要问我
究竟有多少事未做
如果还有明天
如果真的还能够有明天
是否能把事情都做完
是否一切也将烟消云散
如果没有明天
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见


《歌》……罗大佑




当我死去的时候　亲爱　你别为我唱悲伤的歌　
我坟上不必安插蔷薇　也无需浓荫的柏树　　　
让盖着我的轻轻的草　淋着雨也沾着露珠　
假如你愿意　请记着我　要是你甘心忘了我　　　
在悠久的坟墓中迷惘　阳光不升起也不消翳　
我也许　也许我还记得你 我也许把你忘记　　
我再见不到地面的青荫　觉不到雨露的甜蜜　
我再听不到夜莺的歌喉　在黑夜里倾吐悲啼　　　
在悠久的坟墓中迷惘　阳光不升起也不消翳　
我也许　也许我还记得你 我也许把你忘记


《In Loving Memory》…… Alter Bridge



Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me






得尔

PS：我有一个岛